It's all in your head - I've heard that one a lot - and really, it's true. I've come to realize that most of our suffering comes from assumptions and perceptions of things that aren't real. We just think they are - because we assume. That's one thing that's hitting me like a brick on the head this week - who cares what people think, who cares about the haters. People are more worried about what others think of them to pay attention to you, and if they do - screw them, they're either jealous or ignorant.
I feel better.
Now, I am still knees deep into the whole brain-rewire I've been working on. I think this whole competition process starts in the mind. There are people that just get out there and "do" without really taking the time to take it all in and change from the inside out. Yes, I could zombie out to a workout plan and diet and it may get me a pro-card, it may not...but where's the reward in that. I'm changing every day, on the inside. Things I used to struggle with, I have turned into positive by looking at the big picture. I'm changing who I am and becoming a better person with this journey - a more compassionate person. This is what makes the journey to the end result worth it. period.
I really used to envy those who take action to accomplish something - but then I realized, a lot of these people really don't learn anything along the way. There's the contest rebounds, the constant unsatisfaction, the guilt and self pitty, then of course you're right back where you started - taking action to get somewhere because you did it before, and for some reason can't do it now. Well, history repeats itself if we don't learn anything from it right? I know this - I did it for years, unknowingly at the time. I had to learn the lessons before I could execute and stay sane. Gosh, I was so naieve to think that I could just do it and get there without any stopping points or lessons to be learned.
We see it all the time, the girl that goes into a show and takes the whole thing - then says, "oh I've only been working out for a year". Granted, I used to want to be that person - now, not even to save my life.
This is why the brain re-wire is almost a success. I have trained myself to see that there is a grey area, I am aknowledging that there is more to this than just getting a plan and following it, and I am accepting the fact that everything that I have struggled wth, every time I have failed is what is going to make me a champion, a role model and someday someone that can be looked up to - for more than just a status, or a trophy.
