Muffin of DOOM

Somebody.Help.Me.

Double chocolate chip muffins...the store bought, plant made, artificial kind. The ones that can last through a nuclear winter and taste AMAZING are calling my name. I learned my lesson about these though. They're evil - evil and DELICIOUS! I so so want one...but I just can't.

Arnold wouldn't be ARNOLD if he gave into every muffin temptation. Actually, I don't think muffins have the same effect on him as they do us mere mortals. Either way, he just wouldn't - the reasons don't matter.

Not everyone can be Mr.Olympia a zillion times over, but they CAN overcome temptation and stop that sweet tooth right in it's tracks all by exercising the powers of the mind.

The temptation was SO hardcore - I grabbed my little journal that I keep with me, and jotted it down. This was step one. I AKNOWLEDGED the want. I want a muffin - the chocolate insta-heaven one.

It wasn't successfull, so I thought...alright, I'll chew some gum. It wasn't until I noticed myself grinding my teeth like a drug addict that I realized I may just need HELP. LOL.... The gum didn't do anything but give me some funky tasting breath. Yes, gum. A mix of kiwi and coffee is not so good. 30 minutes away from meal time I caved - and ate my meal early. I HAD TOO...

I would have dived face first into those muffins, unwrapping them and stuffing them in my face until the point of no return.

I aknowledged the want, and found the fix. Not only was I somewhat hungry, but I was bored too. See what happens when you get bored!? This is just like sitting in front of the TV eating a bag of chips. The hand just keeps going and going, shoveling them in. Next thing you know, there's a whole bag of chips missing...and it's sitting in your lap.

Do I still want the muffin? Yep but, I know that acting like a child and throwing a mental hissy fit isn't going to do any good. It's the mental olympics up in here with how I was trying to JUSTIFY having a crack crap-filled muffin.

So I got real honest with myself and said,
"HEY! YOU!"

"Go ahead, eat the muffin...but when you feel guilty later, and you skip the gym...and you're dissapointed with your results, and you beat yourself up about it and eat ANOTHER muffin to feel better...I hope you realized, you haven't learned anything...in the past, oh, 4 years!"

"Or you can just NOT EAT THE MUFFIN...and keep moving forward, hit the gym, sleep like a rock and not let your emotions take over!!"

This converstation in my head seemed to work. Yeah, I STILL want the muffin but my WANTS got me here: chubby, uncomfortable, and full of insecurities. They surely didn't get me a set of visible abs, nope...not even close.

It's all about choices kids,
each day
each moment
some are hard
and some are simple
but simple *bad* choices add up
to bigger bad choices.

Throw a tiny pebble in a pond....and watch the ripples. That's what's happening when you say...just this once. Your brain starts thinking "this once...pfff...it'll work again", and that it does...until it's gone too far and you're heavy and miserable living in your own body.

I'm not going to get all woo-woo spiritual squishy right now, but really stop and think about the time that you've wasted "trying" to get there. There can be anywhere you want to be. The whole time you're thinking about it, you're not seeing the NOW. You are so engrossed in these dreams, and day dreams that you didn't stop to live. Once you finally get to that place - you won't know how to appreciate it - because you'll just be trying to get somewhere else.

I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to stop and smell the roses, not the muffins. I just know I have to enjoy this journey, because once it's over...I'll never want to look back and think "I shouldn't have had that muffin". Instead, I want to look back and think "I did it...one defeated muffin at a time"